Jan Stock Counseling

Sometimes things happen and we don't understand why, and there is nothing we can do to control it. The Coronavirus pandemic is one of those!!! Let's think about what was happening in our lives several weeks ago -- before we entered the land of adjustment and forced distancing and isolation. I can only speak from my own knowledge and experience, so here goes: Working adults of all ages were going to jobs every day and working long hours, sometimes bringing their work home ...Continue reading

Today, and maybe for many more days, we find ourselves in a place we have never been before. We are fighting a battle without weapons against an unseen enemy. It is history-making, and it is damn scary!! Stress and anxiety are extremely high right now, possibly for every person in the whole world! If we give in to the stress and anxiety, we only lower our warrior vibes and place our bodies in a more vulnerable state. Instead, let's face this enemy together, arm in arm, ...as a nation, and as a world! Let's start by understanding that this enemy enters our bodies in a number of ways, but it starts with the air we breathe. The germs of this virus settle on all the surfaces making cleaning and hand washing extremely important. However, breathing the air of those who are infected or carriers of the virus is the direct hit of the enemy named Corona!! And it is my understanding that this "flu" virus is equipped with 10 times the fire power of the other viruses that have been known to the experts, and it is an enemy even the researchers and virus experts have not seen. It seems clear to me that the way to stop this enemy is to declare ourselves silent warriors that refuse to participate in this war by secluding ourselves in our homes and having no contact with the breath of others. Because of the sneaky way this enemy works, a person can be exposed, not show any symptoms, and still unknowingly strike a blow to others just by exchanging breath. Dammit anyway!!! We are social people! We like to be out there with our friends in places where there are many others in a room doing their thing! Unfortunately, to fight this war, we MUST avoid socializing with anyone who is not actively practicing self-distancing. Experts are saying that the best way to think about this situation is to assume everyone is infected and stay clear of them. Yes! This is a change -- a major change -- in lifestyle for all of us! Yet, it is absolutely necessary to stop this enemy in its track!!! In order to drastically cut back on stress and anxiety, do everything you HAVE CONTROL OF to meet this enemy head-on!! Refuse to get closer than 6 feet with any other human, and limit situations in which you are even that close! Control your environment! Be a courageous and mighty gate keeper by only allowing others near that have controlled their environment and who have been in self-quarantine. Know and believe that the ONLY thing you have control over is yourself and your environment. Be diligent about protecting you and your family, and let go of worrying about those who are not doing the same. They have a choice, and their choice is not in your control, or your responsibility! This is temporary! It will pass!

Adolescence is a difficult time for both the child, and the parent. The child is beginning to see themselves as more of an adult than a child, and they want to be treating more adult-like. Parents have raised this child for many years and have kind of figured out the strategy to deal with them, and then adolescence begins and the parent feels like a stranger has taken over their child's body. Adolescents want to be heard, understood, respected for their thoughts and ideas, and loved and cared for as an individual, separate from the parents. This is a great article! In my counseling practice, I work with adolescents, and I work with parents to learn how to better relate their young adult.

Needing others to fill our needs is unhealthy and prompts us to sacrifice our "real" selves in order to feel okay. Learning to love yourself and meet your own needs is the path to authenticity. It is my belief that authenticity is the only way to find peace and joy in our lives without hearing from our conscience saying "really???".

Thank you to the courageous ladies who braved the cold to attend the Thought Management Workshop on Saturday! What a fun group it was. Lots of laughing, sharing and learning! They all chose to keep their group together to learn so many more ways to increase self-esteem and authenticity. I look forward to this journey with these amazing ladies!

We are the product of all of our experiences, emotions, thoughts, relationships, etc. And if we allow ourselves, we can perfectly who we were intended to be -- not what we think others want/need for us to be!!

Rain, wintry mix, snow . . . no doing what I had planned today. So -- I can sit and worry about the things I am not able to do, or I can look at it as a FREE DAY! Not my fault my plans have been changed. I have no control over it! So what can I do instead?? Read a good book, take time to meditate, cook some soup, make chocolate chip cookies, watch marathon West Wing! Clean slate!! Make it a good day doing just exactly what YOU want to do today!! Be safe and warm my friends, and enjoy your day!!!!

I was sitting outside earlier and kept hearing the popping sound of the flag in all its glory on the flagpole in front of the house. It brought back soooo many memories of helping my dad to replace that flag every time it got a little tattered or faded. My dad was in the Korean War. For years and years of my life he would not talk about the war. He would tell stories of the places he was stationed overseas. How he learned to swim when he was deployed to Japan because t...Continue reading