Laurie Ward, MA, LPC

Want to stretch yourself to grow?

I have ego triggers (+ ego tantrums often.) This is part of the human experience. If we are conscious to this we can use our triggers for deeper levels of awar...eness + healing. Our ego is the concept of who we are. In the I identify that is created from birth-age 7. We internalize the beliefs of our parents figures about who we are, who others are, + what the world around us is. At the same time, we are desperate to receive love + approval. Unconsciously, we deny parts of ourselves that those closest to us disapprove of + perform in ways where we get that love. Many of us are living life as a performance. This creates a fragile sense of self where we live on the defensive. Always protecting ourselves. Always wanting to control everything + everyone around us. Becoming aware of the ego is waking up. It allows us to face our pain, our shame, + the reality that we create a lot of our own suffering. Becoming aware of the ego is the beginning of our freedom of our own liberation from who we believed we were supposed to be #selfhealers

2020 has been a year of personal and collective trauma for everyone in varying degrees. It's been chaotic, unpredictable, and painful so of course we are feelin...g anxious. Don't deny your feelings, and never compare what's happening for you today with anyone else, or your own previous experiences. This is an unprecedented time in our lives, honor yourself for making it right here, right now. This is a big win just to be here, so breathe, know that this will pass, love and accept yourself completely. See more

Insecurity likes to find a way to negotiate and bargain with our boundaries. Insecurity likes to tell us that we’re not worth asking to be spoken to differently.... Insecurity likes to tell us that we are not deserving of transparent communication. It likes to tell us that we don’t get to ask for something different that is going to honor and respect us. Insecurity likes to creep in and tell us that if we do, we risk losing the person. It slithers in and let’s us know that not having the other person stay with us is the greatest threat of all time. It tells us that others can treat us in ways unimaginable because it’s what we’re used to and so that’s what we get. Insecurity is learned and observed. It’s absorbed through experiences. It’s picked up along the way through narratives both spoken or subtle. I ask you this. Name your insecurities. I know it’s not fun, but name them. Say them out loud to yourself. Write them down somewhere. And then consider where they came from? How’d they get there? Where did the belief come from? Did you see it played out with the adults in your life? Did you see a parent struggling with their own insecurity? Was there comparison between you and a sibling? Were there narratives around what you need to do to keep a man? Were there suggestions about your looks? Was there emphasis around what’s attractive and what isn’t? Was a parent stuck in an unhealthy pattern? Unpack it. Really dive in. It’s important. Unpack your insecurities so you can repackage them with empowerment, resiliency, and strength. Once you identify what you believe, explore how those beliefs contribute to function or dysfunction in your life and relationships. See how it holds you hostage or allows for freedom. If it’s dysfunction and being held hostage, explore where you need to strengthen your beliefs. Lean into that. Day by day. Write about it. Bring gentleness and love to those parts. Envision the way you want to believe about yourself. Envision the healthy expectations to hold for yourself and work your way there every day. Work on this so that your insecurities do not rule you and keep you in a disempowered position. #mindfulmft See more

Thanks modeling what I don’t want.

So true. Check in.

I’ll get around to this.