Kansas City North MO Homes for Sale

What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and an angry spouse yelling on the back porch? The dog quits barking once back inside.

Why are harps like elderly parents? They’re both unforgiving and difficult to get in and out of cars.

What do you call a hen who counts her own eggs? A mathemachicken.

Your Honor, said the smartest lawyer in the world, my client is not guilty. He merely inserted his arm into a window and stole some jewelry. His arm is not himself. I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by one arm. I agree, nodded the judge. I hereby sentence the defendant’s arm to one year in prison. He may accompany the arm or not. Thank you, Your Honor, said the defendant as he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

"Where do you see yourself in six months?" "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer... All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

The crocodile walked into a trendy menswear store, approached the assistant and asked, "Do you have any shirts with pictures of people on the pocket?"

One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around. "Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den. "Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!" ... "Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said. "You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4) replied. "Why not?" the grandmother asked. Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"

Want to know what JOHO means???? Message me!

Why can't towels tell jokes? Because they have a dry sense of humor.

Hey KC Chiefs fans show me your Red Friday pictures!!!!

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office and the staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the skeleton in my passenger seat and belted it in so it wouldn't fall over... not even thinking about the drive across town. At a stoplight, I could not help but notice a ton of people staring at my car. I rolled down the window and shouted, "I am taking him to the Doctor's office!" A man standing on the corner shouted, "I hate to tell you Ma'am, but I think it's too late!"

To the person who stole my glasses... I will find you, I have contacts!